The World Conspires Against Him
by TheCookieMonster77
Summary: Though given that he's trying to conquer it, he supposes fair is fair. [[aka, Hawkmoth gets his butt whooped by Coincidence and Fate. And Ladybug]]
Title: Hawkmoth's Frustrations

Summary: How the hell did his damn butterflies become the biggest hitch in his plans?

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug.**

* * *

AN: This was written before I saw the ml origin episodes. I know parts of it aren't accurate according to canon but that's the luck of the draw when you write stuff while the show is ongoing (plus I hadn't known anything about my precious bby Nooroo when I wrote it whelp). Tbh tho, this is borderline crack so it's not like accurate canon info is necessary to enjoy it. Cross posted from AO3 bc why not.

* * *

Hawkmoth grinned, sighing deeply as he let his next victim's anger flow through him. The rush was like no other, heady and addicting, and Hawkmoth felt the anticipation bubble in his stomach as he felt his akuma fly closer to the devastated runner.

 _Nothing like a competition to make for a new villain._

The akuma was mere meters away from the second place runner, the secondhand bitterness and fury racing down Hawkmoth's spine. His fingers curled into fists as he smiled, his knees twitching as he tried not to pace. The akuma darted into an alley and Hawkmoth closed his eyes so that he could watch through the cursed butterfly, vague gray blurs dancing through his mind's eye as he watched the swirling mass of green, purple, and pink get closer.

 _Almost there_ …

The akuma stopped.

It _stopped_.

Ice raced down his spine. "What," he snarled, teeth grinding as he willed the akuma forward. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force the akuma's limited senses into clarity. The gray blobs that made up the akuma's surroundings gained a bit more definition, enough that he could tell there were walls stretching high above the akuma and that the gray blobs blowing around him were probably litter that had been blown into the cramped alleyway. The swirling mass of emotions, a gorgeous kaleidoscope of bright rage and spite and _power_ mere meters in front of him, was already losing its color to him. Hawkmoth snarled as he sensed the runner accept his second place score, the rage calming into determination and spite into grudging respect.

Hawkmoth watched in fury as every emotion that could have granted him power drained away, his akuma frozen and powerless and helpless.

 _How? Why?!_

Then, a black shadow loomed.

Hawkmoth _screamed_.

"A FUCKING SPIDER AGAIN?!"

* * *

"It's your own fault you know."

"Shut up."

Bella huffed, his kwami wearily floating over to plop down on her little make-shift bed on his desk. She marched around the little pillow and rags to fluff it up before flopping down on her front, pink wings fluttering over her as she settled down to nap. "It takes a lot of energy to make butterflies into akumas you know. If you'd stop getting them killed all the time then I'd be stronger and maybe your villains would turn out better."

He sniffed indignantly. "The situation was entirely out of my hands."

Bella gave him a deadpan stare. "You lost six akumas to the same spiderweb in the past week and a half."

"Completely out of my control."

"You direct them where to go."

"Completely. Out. Of. My. Control."

Bella sighed.

* * *

Glee burned in his stomach. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes against the light streaming through his window, smiling as the sun warmed his cheeks and the thrum of butterfly wings echoed through his lair.

"Yes, my pretty akuma," he murmured, adrenaline burning through his system as his akuma neared the child swarmed in bitter blue and green envy. "Poison that child's heart for my revenge!"

 _If only adults could feel as strongly as children…_

The emotional mass grew closer, the bitterness coating his tongue and envy itching his fingers. A spark of purple rage slithered through, mixing with his growing glee. He stretched his senses through his akuma and laughed as the surroundings remained stationary.

"No pets to save you," he cooed.

A scream echoed through his ears.

He frowned.

The mess of emotions jumped, bright orange fear distorting the child's other feelings. Hawkmoth snarled.

"I can still use fear," he hissed, willing his akuma forward.

The child's fear dulled, the orange becoming muddied as streaks of yellow blurred through. His own fury grew as the child's emotions drain away.

"My akuma is faster than you! You will become my next victim!"

The scream echoed again.

"Wait what?"

 _This kid isn't showing any fear why is there screaming?_

He felt something slimy hit his akuma, the sensation like a punch in his chest before drifting over his shoulders. His akuma plummeted to the ground, forcing his breath out of his lungs with a muffled _thump_ , and the child's emotions drained away. He snarled as he lost his potential victim with his akuma less than a meter away, already stretching his senses as he tried to discover what went wrong this time. A dark shadow loomed over his akuma and hurled something down.

Pain bloomed along his head, quickly tempering into a pounding headache.

" _What?"_

* * *

Bella blinked at him. She stayed hovering around his head, frown painted on her face as she gave him a deadpan stare.

He sighed. "What."

"You had. A dragon."

He huffed and crossed his arms. "Yes."

"Guitar Villain never went after the miraculous."

"...Yes."

Bella sighed. "You choked the last akuma who ignored your orders. Why not this one?"

He rolled his eyes and went back to scanning his map. Maybe if he pretended to work, Bella would leave him alone.

Silence stretched and Bella continued to burn a hole in his head.

"...I thought you took longer to recover when I force-controlled the villains."

Bella rolled her eyes, dramatically rolling through the air. "Yes. A few extra hours of recovery time, not _one week._ "

He pursed his lips and turned back to his computer. The Ladyblog was pulled up, it's glaring red background giving him a headache as he scanned the latest post on who Ladybug and Chat Noir might be. Not for the first time, he sighed over the fact that the superheroes were so young and so far out of his circles. It was like searching for a needle in a haystack, and he hadn't the slightest idea of where to start.

Bella bumped the side of his head. " _Well?_ "

He snapped.

"I USED THREE AKUMAS."

Bella blinked. "...What?"

He sighed and pinched his brow. "Digital was an easy idiot."

"And what, you're a fan of Jagged Stone now?"

"No," he hissed. "But Digital only took one try with an akuma. The first akuma for Guitar Villain got eaten by that stupid crocodile and the second got caught in my window as it closed."

Bella didn't look impressed. "You could have controlled. A. _Dragon_."

"Three akumas! _Three!_ And you're right, I got a dragon out of it but I didn't want to push my luck!"

Bella groaned. "We're talking about _my_ abilities here. You aren't Chat Noir or Ladybug, luck has nothing to do with it!"

"...It took me twenty minutes to find the remote to the goddamn window, I was tired, okay?"

Bella groaned, falling to his desk theatrically and whining about idiotic chosens.

* * *

" _Yes_ ," he groaned. Burning pain swirled through him, the _ragehungerspitefurypainRAGE_ burning through his senses. He felt lightheaded at the sensation, his glee mixing with the feelings to make his limbs numb.

"A rejected marriage proposal?" he crowed, laughing as his fingers and toes began to tingle. "Perfect!" Cranks whirled and gears whined as his window mechanism started up and it was everything he could do not to bounce with glee as the familiar mantra echoed in his head.

 _The stronger the feelings, the stronger the villain. The stronger the feelings, the stronger the villain. The stronger the feelings, the stronger the villain._

A hole in his window.

" _YES_ ," he shouted, positively high off his victim's despair. "Today is the day of my victory, nothing can stop me now!"

His window swirled open, the whine music to his ears. His butterflies fluttered, one of them already flying to his open palm-

Wind shrieked through the opening, the furious gusts blowing his butterflies around the room and slamming against him.

"OH COME ON."

* * *

Bella fluttered around him, her soft pink wings dancing as she twirled around his head. "You have three potential victims."

He hummed.

Bella bumped against his head. "I said you have three potential victims."

He shrugged and stared at the shadow flower pattern around him. He was sitting on the floor, light from his window streaming in overhead as he scratched his chin in contemplation.

"Three potential victims!"

"I heard you the first time," he snapped. "But _should_ I akumize them?"

Bella froze and stared at him as though he lost his mind. "... _Now_ you gain a conscious?"

"A what?" He frowned at Bella, matching her incredulous stare. "No. But look," he said with a wave, gesturing at the butterflies fluttering around him. "I'm running low on butterflies."

Bella didn't look impressed. "You have twelve."

"Eleven, actually."

Bella rolled her eyes. "So? Go get more then."

He squinted at her. "You know I can't do that. The regular garden we steal from won't work anymore, I can't akumize that worker anymore."

"So you made someone emotionally dead to the world, boo hoo." Bella huffed, floating down to land on his knee to wait for him. "Just pick a different garden."

"I haven't found another garden with white butterflies."

Bella rolled on his knee, flattening her wings to flop on her back so she could play with her antennas. "I still don't get why you're so worried about this. It only takes one akuma to achieve your goals."

"True but these butterflies have a tendency to die."

Bella groaned. "That's entirely your fault, stop blaming butterflies."

He ignored her with a hum and tilted his head up to stare at the white butterflies fluttering overhead. "To akumize or not to akumize, that is the question."

"Your window closes in five, pick soon."

* * *

"IGUANA AT TWELVE O'CLOCK, I REPEAT IGUANA AT TWELVE O'CLOCK, FLY AWAY AKUMA, _FLY AWAY_."

* * *

"BELLA!"

Bella yelped by his ear. "What? I'm right here, no need to shout."

He clenched the arms of his chair, his feet twitching as he restrained himself from bouncing in his seat. His computer monitor glowed in front of him, the site page proudly proclaiming all stock was half-off.

"Bella, _look_."

Bella fluttered by his head, her wings brushing gently against his ear. "I don't get it. How does a picture of a white butterfly help anything?"

He blinked before bursting into laughter. "Oh Bella, this isn't just a picture of a white butterfly." He gleefully clicked on the checkout link, already pulling his wallet out of his pocket. " _This_ is a gardening website. _That sells butterflies_."

Bella drifted closer to the screen with her head cocked to the side. She turned to him, confusion swirling in her amethyst eyes and her mouth halfway open in a question. She froze a second later, his grin growing when he could see it click. "You mean…"

" _Yes_. And they're _on sale_."

"CENTURIES OF MEDIOCRITY AND YOU HUMANS STUMBLE ON THIS WONDER!"

He laughed (read: cackled) and tears streamed down his cheeks. "This is amazing."

Bella flew circles around his head, a pink blur as she spun and twirled. "NO MORE AKUMAS FOR GARDEN WORKERS HALLELUJAH."

He ordered fifty.

* * *

His window began to whirl shut and Hawkmoth snarled. He plopped down on the floor, his legs folded underneath him, and crossed his arms over his chest as he grumpily stared into the murky darkness.

"Fucking brat how dare they."

And the day had started out so well too! Some eight year old kid worrying over school, blowing the whole thing out of perspective as they dissolved into a swirling mess of blue despair. It was a perfect setup for him and his akumas, no matter how ridiculous.

 _Kid must have some tough parents_.

Nevertheless, it had been going splendidly for him. No webs or wind on the way over, no stupid pets or birds eating his akumas. The kid was his for the taking, right up until yellow-green relief burst through the blue despair and the brat _trapped his akuma_.

The brat was running now, the glass jar trap muffling his senses too much to tell what was going on. He couldn't make another akuma, not with one still out there, so he resigned himself to waiting for the brat to either release his akuma or kill it.

Hawkmoth sat there for what felt like hours (and who knows, it might have very well been that long, it's not like he had a day job or anything) before Bella released his transformation and flopped onto his knee.

He frowned. "I didn't feel the akuma die."

Bella whined. "It..didn't," she gasped. "Hoped releasing...would de...stop akuma. Make it...butterfly."

He frowned in Bella's direction, carefully scooping up his kwami and cradling her close as he made a mental note to buy more banana bread from the Tom & Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie. "It didn't work?"

Bella weakly shook her head, her antenna tickling his fingers. He fished his last slice of banana bread out of his pocket, wincing at its squished state in the bag. He carefully peeled the sandwich bag open and offered a chunk to Bella, who didn't even bother grabbing it and let him feed her.

"You going to be okay?"

Bella nibbled on the bread a bit more before answering. "Yeah. You're not transformed and that will help in the long run." She gulped down the rest of the bread, mouthing his fingers accidentally as she looked for more food. "My powers will wear off of the akuma eventually."

He groaned and broke off another piece of bread for her. "How long is eventually?"

Bella didn't answer. She gobbled down the piece of bread in silence, licking his fingers for crumbs. "You have anymore?"

He fed her the last piece with a sigh. "Sorry that's the last of it. I'll call in another order later today."

Bella nodded weakly against his fingers. "M'kay. I'll probably take a nap soon."

He hummed his agreement and gently rubbed her head. "Okay. Did you ever figure out why that kid trapped the akuma in the first place? I'm not that good at sensing what's going on until the akuma corrupts someone."

"Oh tha-at?" Bella asked with a yawn, already curling up on her side. "The kid was panicking because they forgot to do a science project. They used the akuma as a last minute substitute."

 _Fucking._ _ **Brat**_.

Rage burned on his tongue and he blew out an angry breath. "I hope the kid enjoys their A," he grumbled.

Bella snorted. "They got a D."

He growled. "What?! My akumas are worth _at least_ a B-!"

Bella snuggled into his hand, clearly too tired to comprehend this horrible insult. "I thought you were mad they caught it?"

"How _dare_ that teacher not give it a worthy grade, I'M CALLING THE UNION!"

* * *

"Hope you enjo-"

"Yes, yes, thankyougoodbye," he snapped, slamming the door on the delivery boy as he gathered his boxes into his arms. He beamed, almost skipping in his glee as he raced to his lair.

"BELLA THEY ARRIVED!"

A pink blur raced by in his peripherals as Bella zipped around his head before landing on the box. "They're here?! This is great! You were down to eight but now…"

He tried to scowl at her for the reminder but couldn't. He knew his month had been bad, his butterfly colony having been severely depleted. But none of that mattered now that he had a fresh batch of 1,000 butterflies, and nothing could pierce through his jubilation.

He burst into his lair, ignoring the dark room as he set his packages down. His only light came from the bright hallway behind him, but he was too excited to bother shutting doors or flipping light switches.

"Finally, finally, finally," he muttered, stripping off packaging tape as fast as he could. Bella whirled around his head, flipping and twirling as she fed off of his excitement. "I've been waiting for three weeks and _they're finally here_."

Bella giggled drunkenly, her cheeks flushed as she absorbed more of his excitement. "I _know_. Hurry up and open it!"

"I am, I am!" He stripped away the final piece of packaging tape with a crow of triumph. He grabbed the first lid and threw it off with a shout, barely stopping to wait for the butterflies to fly out before ripping off more lids. "Fly my pretties! FLY!"

Bella's giggles mixed with his laughs, his kwami a pink blur as she flew through the swirling mass of white butterflies. The mass grew as he threw more lids off, his glee growing as his lair was filled with butterflies, their white shimmery wings flashing in the light spilling from the door behind him. And soon, all the boxes were empty, his lair finally full for the first time in months.

Bella zipped around the room again before tackling the side of his head in a hug. "This is _amazing!_ "

He laughed and threw his arms out wide. "It is! I finally-"

He choked.

His mouth fluttered, his tongue tasting like flowers in the worst way. He bit down as something tickled his tongue, gagging as something mothy and dusty filled his mouth.

 _What the fuck?_

He spit it out, gagging and choking as he tried to get the taste out of his mouth.

Bella patted the side of his head. "Um…"

He followed her arm, confused until he realized she was pointing at a dead butterfly on the floor. A dead butterfly that also happened to look half chewed and covered in spit.

"GODDAMMIT!"

* * *

AN: There's a pt. 2 to this which is like 65% done. I'll hopefully have it up soon.

And yes, Hawkmoth buys his kwami's favorite food from Marinette's family bakery. Bc irony.

 _77-cookies . tumblr . com_


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